Christian and Stuck

I have always had this prayer point where I would say that “I never want to know what its like to not have God in my life” and this still stands true. I would like to start by saying that my relationship with God is not confusing, my understanding and relationship with religion and Christianity is the confusing part. However, it goes hand in hand or at least that's what I have been taught. If I am doing something that is contradictory to my religion, I begin to feel like I cannot pray or talk to God. I begin to shy away from him and rot in my wrongdoings. Now I have heard multiple times and even read in the bible that I…